To say I am getting severely naffed off by the lack of action in my life is a severe understatement. I am not of course referring to my sex life, although that is drier than the cast of the golden girls at the moment, but to the lack of a different wet extreme sport, kayaking. Things are going to change. This weekend I am giving the two fingers to the shedload of work that has kept me pretty much living in Uni, and I am swanning off down south to the mountains of North Wales to join the the guys and gals of Cardiff for some epic kayaking carnage. For some reason the group who have been unfortunate enough to be given to me to 'protect and serve' on the rivers lack any sign of young fresher 'poon' (see the Procrastionary for clarification), instead I have an all male group with just the one token female committee member. I do so hope she enjoys banter. The reason given for this is that they don't want me distracted on the river. I am not a dog on heat, I can control my raging libido.
Following on from this weekend I am making a mid term resolution, make one day a week for kayaking. Even if it's actually attending a pool session where I can pretend to teach skills I can barely grasp myself, it means I can get back in a boat and take a break from it all. To say that my life has become one big long maths bonanza is an understatement, I have differentiation, integration, quadratic blergh simulaneous blurgh and я понятия не имею, что я говорю....coming out of my ears. The only distraction from this horror thus far has been the onset of butt cramp halfway through a two hour lecture on Russian politics. Or French philosophy. Or something. It's all the same to me.
Any hooo, there I am, in my usual seat at the back of the class like the cool kid, swinging on my chair looking nonchalant at the lack of knowledge that is going into my pea brained skull when it happened. First it was only slight. A twitch if you like. My left cheek clamped. I carefully straightened my leg and it briefly subsided. Then returned with the vengeance of a gilted lover causing excruciating pain that no amount of writhing, hopping up and down or performance of the great rain dance of heaven would get rid of. This caused much amusement to my peers, great disgust to the lecturer who stopped midsentence and stared at me, and some moderate embarresment to the hero of this story. In the end all I could do was sit it out and try and massage it away... which had the unfortunate side effect of looking like I was pleasuring myself via the rear whilst staring at the lecturer. The moment passed, my friends all had a good laugh, my lecturer now wont be in the room alone with me, and even now the following day, I have a dull ache in the left gluteus maximus to remind me of yesterdays entertainment.
Another little piece of news that will seem fairly boring now compared to the great arse cramp story; I am going to be doing one of my modules next year in Nice (France). This means two weeks instead of one doing flood modelling and is all expenses paid, except food. Should be a good crack and more hands on than lectures. A chance for me to get my geek on, I might suck at maths in the classroom context but modelling I get more excited about than Jimmy Saville at a children's birthday party.
That's it. Next week I may actually have more interesting things to talk about than butt cramp and mid term resolutions, primarily the antics of this coming weekend, which is going to be EPIC.
No comments:
Post a Comment